You get an orgasm. You get an orgasm. You get an orgasm. Everybody gets an orgasm!
I consider myself the “Oprah of Orgasms” in my role at BetterSex.com. That, or an Orgasm Fairy. I flit around spreading cheer, product recommendations and #SexTips to help people have better sex lives. There’s never a dull moment, because the truth is: everyone wants to know how to improve their sex life — even if it’s great already.
But some people aren’t having great sex consistently. Namely women. Surprise, surprise…
According to Psychology Today magazine:
About half of women sometimes have orgasms during intercourse. About 20 percent seldom have orgasms during intercourse. About 5 percent never have orgasms, period.
Some research says as much as 15% of women never have orgasms. We feel for that 5-15%.
We get a lot of inquiries from couples wondering how to make sex more enjoyable for women. And it’s not just inquiries from women. Men love it when they can get their lady off. Enabling your woman to let loose with orgasm is sexy to watch, plus — let’s be honest — when your partner orgasms, things feel better for you too.
Men, if you want your woman to have more orgasms in bed — and, trust me, you do — here are three tips to help:
The Only Advice You’ll Ever Need For Making Her Climax:
1. Silence is NOT Golden
If you’ve ever had an eye exam, you’re familiar with the process of getting a perfect visual fit. The optometrist moves the phoropter (the tool with all the different lenses used to determine your prescription) in front of your face and he flips the lenses back and forth asking:
“Which is clearer this…or…this?”
Sometimes it can take a while, but eventually you get the perfect solution to improve your visual clarity.
Sex is like that sometimes.
If you want to have sexual clarity about what works in the bedroom, don’t fumble around in complete silence hoping to hit a magic pleasure button. It just won’t happen.
Don’t leave pleasure up to guess work. Talk about it. Coach it out. Flip around a few options. Compare and contrast.
Use simple questions or suggestions to help with the process:
“How does that feel?”
“Which feels better….this or…this?”
“Show me what you like.”
“How do you want me to touch you?”
Avoid “yes or no” questions in bed. They may not give you enough information to move towards your end goal. Plus, if you ask questions like “Does that feel good?” your partner may not want to say “No” because it could sound harsh.
Improve your communication in bed with instructions from our Better Sex® Video Series 10 Secrets To Great Sex.
2. The Clitoris is Queen
It’s not a secret that the clitoris is the only body part which scientists believe is solely dedicated to pleasure. This Mighty Mouse of an appendage is small but packs more than 8,000 nerve endings. Each clitoris is as different as the woman it’s attached to, but for most women, the way to make her orgasm is via gentle, persistent, direct stimulation of the clitoris.
Also, take the time to make sure you see what she is working with and exactly where it is located. There’s a pretty classic Sex and the City quote where Miranda is talking to her lover about her clitoris. In his mind, he’s well informed as to how it works and where it is, but Miranda gently responds with:
It’s about two inches from where you think it is.
Don’t be that guy.
The basics of the female anatomy are this:
The clitoris is a small, bud-like structure at the top of the inner labia (inner vaginal lips). The clitoris can be hidden under a small hood of skin.
Increase her clitoral sensitivity and chance of clitoral orgasm with the Adam & Eve Make Me Cum Clit Sensitizer.
3. The G-Spot Can Help Too.
What some people don’t know is that the clitoris is actually bigger than it seems and that the pleasure organ extends into a woman’s body in a wishbone shape. Many researchers have now concluded that the wishbone shape connects the clitoris to the G-spot – the special area of a woman that when stimulated can lead to explosive orgasms and female ejaculation.
According to Women’s Health, the G-spot is “a spongy area about the size of a nickel, and it’s located an inch or two into the anterior wall of the vagina, just under the pubic mound.”
The area is bumpy in texture and it requires a different type of attention than a clitoris.
“The G-spot’s nerves are contained in fattier tissue, so you have to provide deeper, firmer pressure to stimulate it,” says Ian Kerner, Ph.D., author of She Comes First.
But before you start hunting for your lady’s special spot, you should get her really turned on first because the g-spot doesn’t swell to the point of recognition until a woman is thoroughly aroused.
Once your lady is aroused from foreplay, the best way to get her off is to take a tag-team approach with her clitoris and g-spot.
Dr. Kerner has these simple instructions for couples:
“With his mouth on your clitoris, have him use his fingers in a come-hither motion to apply firm, rhythmic pressure to the G-spot.”
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